Relapse Excuses

Relapse Excuses

There is no good excuse for a relapse. However, there are several emotional triggers that are commonly used excuses people will use in order to justify a relapse.

Relapse Excuse #1. Resentment

Many of us have probably heard this: Resentments will take you back out. Holding a resentment is probably the most common relapse excuse. Resentments are usually in the form of:

Perceiving that others are trying to control their life

Expectations not being met

Perceiving that others are acting as if they are superior

Perceiving others to be hypocrites, taking others’ inventory

Superiors who abuse their power

Being hurt but others saying or doing something that negatively impacts the their self-esteem

When other people lie

Feeling slighted

Perceiving others to act unfair towards them and/or others

Relapse Excuse #2. Anger

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die” When feeling angry towards someone else, the recovering addict/alcoholic often thinks that they will punish these other people by relapsing; of course the only person they are going to hurt is themselves.

Relapse Excuse #3. Boredom

After getting clean and sober, you might find that you have a lot of free time on your hands. Without hobbies or pursuing other healthy interests, you may become bored. This is another common relapse excuse: boredom. When we become bored, we may begin romanticizing our previous lifestyle, remembering the “good ol’ times” and conveniently forget about all the horrible stuff. This is a dangerous trend because, in the newly sober person’s mind, addiction wasn’t so bad after all. That mindset combined with agony of boredom is enough to convince most that relapse is the way to remedy their situation.

Relapse Excuse #4. Loneliness

This is kind of like the boredom excuse. When we stop drinking and drugging, we have to change people, places, and things. We may begin to miss our drinking and using buddies and, if we are not proactive in making new sober friends and getting sober supports in our life, then being lonely is the perfect relapse excuse.

Relapse Excuse #5. Disappointment in sobriety

As recovering addicts and alcoholics, we are used to instant gratification. That said, a life beyond our wildest in dreams in recovery takes time. Often times, we have to rebuild our lives from scratch. For some in recovery, this is frustrating and upsetting. They expect results and immediately! When this doesn’t happen, they will use that as an excuse to relapse

Relapse Excuse #6. Feeling depressed

Many addicts and alcoholics also have a co-occurring, or dual diagnosis mental disorder such as depression or bipolar disorder. In fact, that is why many of us sought out drugs: to numb those bad feelings. So, in sobriety, when those feelings come back, we retreat to the way we always dealt with them – by using drugs.

For those who do not have an actual mental health diagnosis, depression is still a factor, as it is for non addicts and alcoholics. Depression is a fact of life. But again, for recovering addicts and alcoholics, the temptation to escape these negative feelings may become too great to deal with and lead them to relapse. It is important to learn coping mechanisms that don’t involve drug use in order to achieve emotional stability in recovery.

Relapse Excuse #7. Feeling happy

Conversely, many people who have experienced a relapse say that it is when things are going really well that they slip up. Perhaps it is a way of rewarding themselves for doing so well. For others, it is a way to increase the already good feeling they have naturally. As addicts and alcoholics, we seek to increase the pleasure-causing chemicals in our brains while in active addiction. Once we are sober, it might be that this “taste” of euphoria from normal everyday good things, that is enough of a high for others, is just what it takes to leave us craving something more intense therefore causing some to seek it in drugs and resulting in a relapse.

Relapse Excuse #8. “Forgetting”

So many times, I have heard people who relapse say that they weren’t sure anymore whether they were an alcoholic or addict. So, they decide to go back out and “test the waters.” People will use the relapse excuse that they decided they weren’t really an addict and/or alcoholic in order to start drinking and drugging again.




If you need help with your addiction please call us at 800-507-7389.

Managing Your Sex Addiction in a Sober House

managing sex addiction in a sober house

Many people who come to a sober house are what are called “dual diagnosis” meaning they are suffering from addiction plus some other mental condition like depression, anxiety or bipolar disorder. Many sober house residents are also cross-addicted, meaning that they are addicted to drugs/alcohol as well as sex, gambling, shopping, food, etc. Some addicts and alcoholics aren’t even aware that they are cross-addicted until they get clean and sober. They will notice that they are suddenly acting out in other ways, trying to get a “fix” or a “high” when they no longer have access to their drug of choice.

Sex addiction is one of the most common cross-addictions for addicts and alcoholics. Sober houses know this. That is why sober houses are usually set up to help you manage your sex addiction.

Managing Your Sex Addiction in a Sober House: Tell on Yourself

If you begin to notice that you are having thoughts about acting out on your sex addiction in a sober house, the best thing you can do is to get honest about it. The staff is there to help you to recover from all addictions, and a sober house environment is most effective when the staff knows what is going on with you. Remember: our secrets keep us sick. In early recovery, we must learn to tell on ourselves consistently. This is a big part of managing your sex addiction in a sober house.

Managing Your Sex Addiction in a Sober House: Take suggestions

Remember that part of living in a sober house is learning to take suggestions! The staff at a sober house have a lot of experience dealing with addiction. They know what works and what doesn’t. Managing your sex addiction in a sober house is a lot easier when you take suggestions, even when you don’t like them! Sober house staff may encourage you to seek out same-sex friendships and to avoid opposite sex friendships, especially in the early days of recovery. If they see you acting out on your sex addiction, they may enforce consequences. This is all done to help you with managing your sex addiction in a sober house so that later, when you are living on your own, you will have a better chance at staying sober.

Managing Your Sex Addiction in a Sober House: Follow the rules!

Sober house rules are specifically aimed at helping you in managing your sex addiction in a sober house. The structure is there for a reason, so use it! When you follow the rules and go with the flow, your experience with sober living will be much more pleasant. They make it easy on you because you do not have to decide whether or not to stay out late with a date or to have a man/women spend the night-you have a curfew and usually no sleepovers are allowed. This way, when you are faced with the decision to either do the right thing or give into your sex addiction, you will have more incentive to make the healthy choice.

If you need help with your addiction please call us at 800-507-7389.