Relapse Excuses

Relapse Excuses

There is no good excuse for a relapse. However, there are several emotional triggers that are commonly used excuses people will use in order to justify a relapse.

Relapse Excuse #1. Resentment

Many of us have probably heard this: Resentments will take you back out. Holding a resentment is probably the most common relapse excuse. Resentments are usually in the form of:

Perceiving that others are trying to control their life

Expectations not being met

Perceiving that others are acting as if they are superior

Perceiving others to be hypocrites, taking others’ inventory

Superiors who abuse their power

Being hurt but others saying or doing something that negatively impacts the their self-esteem

When other people lie

Feeling slighted

Perceiving others to act unfair towards them and/or others

Relapse Excuse #2. Anger

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die” When feeling angry towards someone else, the recovering addict/alcoholic often thinks that they will punish these other people by relapsing; of course the only person they are going to hurt is themselves.

Relapse Excuse #3. Boredom

After getting clean and sober, you might find that you have a lot of free time on your hands. Without hobbies or pursuing other healthy interests, you may become bored. This is another common relapse excuse: boredom. When we become bored, we may begin romanticizing our previous lifestyle, remembering the “good ol’ times” and conveniently forget about all the horrible stuff. This is a dangerous trend because, in the newly sober person’s mind, addiction wasn’t so bad after all. That mindset combined with agony of boredom is enough to convince most that relapse is the way to remedy their situation.

Relapse Excuse #4. Loneliness

This is kind of like the boredom excuse. When we stop drinking and drugging, we have to change people, places, and things. We may begin to miss our drinking and using buddies and, if we are not proactive in making new sober friends and getting sober supports in our life, then being lonely is the perfect relapse excuse.

Relapse Excuse #5. Disappointment in sobriety

As recovering addicts and alcoholics, we are used to instant gratification. That said, a life beyond our wildest in dreams in recovery takes time. Often times, we have to rebuild our lives from scratch. For some in recovery, this is frustrating and upsetting. They expect results and immediately! When this doesn’t happen, they will use that as an excuse to relapse

Relapse Excuse #6. Feeling depressed

Many addicts and alcoholics also have a co-occurring, or dual diagnosis mental disorder such as depression or bipolar disorder. In fact, that is why many of us sought out drugs: to numb those bad feelings. So, in sobriety, when those feelings come back, we retreat to the way we always dealt with them – by using drugs.

For those who do not have an actual mental health diagnosis, depression is still a factor, as it is for non addicts and alcoholics. Depression is a fact of life. But again, for recovering addicts and alcoholics, the temptation to escape these negative feelings may become too great to deal with and lead them to relapse. It is important to learn coping mechanisms that don’t involve drug use in order to achieve emotional stability in recovery.

Relapse Excuse #7. Feeling happy

Conversely, many people who have experienced a relapse say that it is when things are going really well that they slip up. Perhaps it is a way of rewarding themselves for doing so well. For others, it is a way to increase the already good feeling they have naturally. As addicts and alcoholics, we seek to increase the pleasure-causing chemicals in our brains while in active addiction. Once we are sober, it might be that this “taste” of euphoria from normal everyday good things, that is enough of a high for others, is just what it takes to leave us craving something more intense therefore causing some to seek it in drugs and resulting in a relapse.

Relapse Excuse #8. “Forgetting”

So many times, I have heard people who relapse say that they weren’t sure anymore whether they were an alcoholic or addict. So, they decide to go back out and “test the waters.” People will use the relapse excuse that they decided they weren’t really an addict and/or alcoholic in order to start drinking and drugging again.

 

 

Sources:

http://alcoholism.about.com/

http://www.psychologytoday.com/

If you need help with your addiction please call us at 800-507-7389.

Lies That Addicts Tell Their Loved Ones

Lies That Addicts Tell Their Loved Ones

Lying is a well-known part of addiction. They are a natural and virtually automatic way of life for addicts. Addicts lie to themselves, to their loved ones, and to the world. They lie about big things and small things, and they often get so caught up in their lies that they don’t even know the truth anymore. Here are some common lies that addicts tell their loved ones and the reasons they do it:

Lies That Addicts Tell Their Loved Ones: Lies to cover up addiction

What it sounds like:

“I only had a couple drinks last night.”

“That isn’t mine; I’m holding it for a friend”

“I don’t drink/use every day”

Why they do it:

Although not all addictive behaviors are against the law, many are. Even those that aren’t are highly stigmatized, even if, like drinking, they are socially acceptable in moderation. It becomes second nature for people with addictions to cover up their addictive behavior because they know, deep down, that if anyone knew how much they used/drank; they would have to make a change. Loved ones would be concerned and/or judge them.

Lies That Addicts Tell Their Loved Ones: Lies to avoid confrontation

What it sounds like:

“I can’t make it to your house to talk, I have to do X, Y, or Z.”

“I need these medications; a doctor prescribed them to me.”

“I’m not that bad, you’re overreacting.”

“I don’t drink as much as [other person]; he/she is the one who really needs help.”

Why they do it:

Although loved ones of addicts often find them confrontational, in reality, they often want to avoid confrontation, especially when it is about their behavior. To avoid confrontation they may get really angry to try to manipulate you into backing down or they may simply lie. Addicts rely heavily on drugs and alcohol to be able to cope with the stresses of life. Being confronted by another person is very stressful, and it is something they have a hard time dealing with. They may even try to make you believe it is your fault they are using because you confronted them in the first place.

Lies That Addicts Tell Their Loved Ones: Lies to avoid negative consequences

What it sounds like:

“I didn’t steal that”

“I can’t do it today, I’m sick”

“My car broke down; I’m not going to make it in”

Why they do it:

Addicts lie to protect themselves. They know if they tell the truth, they will have to face negative consequences-losing jobs, relationships, or even facing legal charges. It is much easier to lie than to own up to the fact that their using/drinking is affecting their everyday life and/or causing them to break the law.

Lies That Addicts Tell Their Loved Ones: Lies where they are the victim

What it sounds like:

“It’s your fault I drink/use drugs. If I didn’t have such a terrible childhood, I wouldn’t need them”

“If you had to deal with the things I have, you would be drinking too.”

Why they do it:

These are lies that the addict themselves may not even realize are lies. They may even be based on a kernel of truth. It is their way of transferring blame for their addiction to another person or situation. They love to play the victim, and will use anything negative events in their lives as an excuse to keep using or drinking. If they don’t have the responsibility for using or drinking, they also don’t have the responsibility for quitting.

If you need help with your addiction please call us at 800-507-7389.

Lies That Addicts Tell Themselves

Lies Addicts Tell Themselves

Addicts are very adept at lying to themselves. After all, it is hard to accept that you have a chronic, relapsing and progressive disease. It is hard to accept that you need help. It is hard to accept that you probably will never be able to drink or use drugs ever again. Here are the top lies that addicts tell themselves:

1. I am not an addict: Even with all the proof in the world, an addict can tell themselves that they are not an addict. The truth is hard to swallow. Even when addicts are in recovery, there comes a point where they start wondering if they are really an addict. They start to think maybe they CAN do drugs recreationally. After all, they’ve quit for this long. What could it hurt?

2. I will only use on the weekend or I will quit tomorrow: This is one of the biggest lies that addicts tell themselves in active addiction. Sometimes, they may even be able to put down the drugs for a little while. Inevitably, however, they always end up right back in the same place.

3. Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous are cults:One of the lies that addicts tell themselves is that AA and NA are not going to work for them because they are cult-like, too religious, or whatever else. They tell themselves that members are nothing more than brainwashed cult members who have become “addicted” to meetings instead of drugs. They may say “They’ve simply traded one addiction for another!” This gives them a way to dismiss the program without ever really trying it.

4 I can probably still drink/smoke pot: This is one of the most common lies addicts tell themselves. No one likes to hear that they will have to stay abstinent forever, so addicts will often convince themselves that they can drink or do other drugs as long as they stay away from their drug of choice. They may say “But I never had a problem with alcohol!” Inevitably, this almost always ends up one of two ways: Alcohol or pot stops doing the trick and they go back to their drug of choice, or they end up getting physically addicted to the new substance.

5. I need this! I have pain! : With the advent of doctors becoming more and more liberal about prescribing pain medication for minor conditions, many addicts are able to convince themselves that they NEED the drugs. This can be one of the most dangerous lies that addicts tell themselves, because it gives them an excuse to keep using. They say “I have a medical condition, and a doctor GAVE ME THESE PILLS.” Very rarely is the addict taking the medication as prescribed. Often, too, it is very difficult to assess the true level of pain when you are physically dependent on pain medication. Your body adapts to the meds and stops producing natural pain killing chemicals, so when you stop or cut down, you feel much more pain than you would if you had never taken them.

If you need help with your addiction please call us at 800-507-7389.