Lies That Addicts Tell Their Loved Ones

Lies That Addicts Tell Their Loved Ones

Lying is a well-known part of addiction. They are a natural and virtually automatic way of life for addicts. Addicts lie to themselves, to their loved ones, and to the world. They lie about big things and small things, and they often get so caught up in their lies that they don’t even know the truth anymore. Here are some common lies that addicts tell their loved ones and the reasons they do it:

Lies That Addicts Tell Their Loved Ones: Lies to cover up addiction

What it sounds like:

“I only had a couple drinks last night.”

“That isn’t mine; I’m holding it for a friend”

“I don’t drink/use every day”

Why they do it:

Although not all addictive behaviors are against the law, many are. Even those that aren’t are highly stigmatized, even if, like drinking, they are socially acceptable in moderation. It becomes second nature for people with addictions to cover up their addictive behavior because they know, deep down, that if anyone knew how much they used/drank; they would have to make a change. Loved ones would be concerned and/or judge them.

Lies That Addicts Tell Their Loved Ones: Lies to avoid confrontation

What it sounds like:

“I can’t make it to your house to talk, I have to do X, Y, or Z.”

“I need these medications; a doctor prescribed them to me.”

“I’m not that bad, you’re overreacting.”

“I don’t drink as much as [other person]; he/she is the one who really needs help.”

Why they do it:

Although loved ones of addicts often find them confrontational, in reality, they often want to avoid confrontation, especially when it is about their behavior. To avoid confrontation they may get really angry to try to manipulate you into backing down or they may simply lie. Addicts rely heavily on drugs and alcohol to be able to cope with the stresses of life. Being confronted by another person is very stressful, and it is something they have a hard time dealing with. They may even try to make you believe it is your fault they are using because you confronted them in the first place.

Lies That Addicts Tell Their Loved Ones: Lies to avoid negative consequences

What it sounds like:

“I didn’t steal that”

“I can’t do it today, I’m sick”

“My car broke down; I’m not going to make it in”

Why they do it:

Addicts lie to protect themselves. They know if they tell the truth, they will have to face negative consequences-losing jobs, relationships, or even facing legal charges. It is much easier to lie than to own up to the fact that their using/drinking is affecting their everyday life and/or causing them to break the law.

Lies That Addicts Tell Their Loved Ones: Lies where they are the victim

What it sounds like:

“It’s your fault I drink/use drugs. If I didn’t have such a terrible childhood, I wouldn’t need them”

“If you had to deal with the things I have, you would be drinking too.”

Why they do it:

These are lies that the addict themselves may not even realize are lies. They may even be based on a kernel of truth. It is their way of transferring blame for their addiction to another person or situation. They love to play the victim, and will use anything negative events in their lives as an excuse to keep using or drinking. If they don’t have the responsibility for using or drinking, they also don’t have the responsibility for quitting.

If you need help with your addiction please call us at 800-507-7389.

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